2020: A Year in Fortunes
Fortune is a terminal program. I run it every time I source a new shell.
Here are the fortunes from 2020 that grabbed me.
“Do you believe in intuition?”
“No, but I have a strange feeling that someday I will.”
It is easier to resist at the beginning than at the end.
-- Leonardo da Vinci
Being schizophrenic is better than living alone.
When it is not necessary to make a decision, it is necessary not to make a decision.
I guess I’ve been wrong all my life, but so have billions of other people…
Certainty is just an emotion.
-- Hal Clement
Pittsburgh Driver’s Test
(8) Pedestrians are
(a) irrelevant. (b) communists. (c) a nuisance. (d) difficult to clean off the front grille.
The correct answer is (a). Pedestrians are not in cars, so they are totally irrelevant to driving; you should ignore them completely.
We are all dying – and we’re gonna be dead for a long time.
History doesn’t repeat itself – historians merely repeat each other.
Without fools there would be no wisdom.
Ernest asks Frank how long he has been working for the company.
“Ever since they threatened to fire me.”
“You can’t make a program without broken egos.”
-- Being comfortable that others will discover your greatness.
And now for something completely the same.
The more time you spend in reporting on what you are doing, the less time you have to do anything. Stability is achieved when you spend all your time reporting on the nothing you are doing.
Don’t read everything you believe.
|What they say||What they mean|
|New||Different colors from previous version.|
|All New||Not compatible with previous version.|
|Exclusive||Nobody else has documentation.|
|Unmatched||Almost as good as the competition.|
|Design Simplicity||The company wouldn’t give us any money.|
|Fool-proof Operation||All parameters are hard-coded.|
|Advanced Design||Nobody really understands it.|
|Here At Last||Didn’t get it done on time.|
|Field Tested||We don’t have any simulators.|
|Years of Development||Finally got one to work.|
|Unprecedented Performance||Nothing ever ran this slow before.|
|Revolutionary||Disk drives go ‘round and ‘round.|
|Futuristic||Only runs on a next generation supercomputer.|
|No Maintenance||Impossible to fix.|
|Performance Proven||Worked through Beta test.|
|Meets Tough Quality Standards||It compiles without errors.|
|Satisfaction Guaranteed||We’ll send you another pack if it fails.|
|Stock Item||We shipped it before and can do it again.|
October 14th (still)
To be sure of hitting the target, shoot first and, whatever you hit, call it the target.
Every path has its puddle.
You are a very redundant person, that’s what kind of person you are.
Please remain calm, it’s no use both of us being hysterical at the same time.
If your hands are clean and your cause is just and your demands are reasonable, at least it’s a start.
I may have invented it, but Bill made it famous
-- David Bradley, inventor of the Ctrl-Alt-Delete keystroke, during panel discussion with Bill Gates at the 20-year celebration for the IBM PC.
November 10th (still)
A penny saved is ridiculous.
It’s lucky you’re going so slowly, because you’re going in the wrong direction.